This is a state where the target may have to deal with the pain of the emotional roller coaster that they just got off. Sometimes this leaves the target in a confused state of cognitive dissonance where they are trying to reconcile the contradictory nature of the abuser’s behavior. This indifference is cold and unsettling – especially in contrast to the warmth that was initially expressed during idealization. This is when the cycle is finished and there is nothing left but the abuser’s indifference. On a neurochemical level, one may experience the symptoms of withdrawal and cravings. This may create stress in the target because there is no concrete communication about why the interaction changed. Maybe interactions start to feel less affirming and there is an almost imperceptible undercurrent of criticism or negativity. Perhaps it starts with someone suddenly not returning texts right away. This is when the love-bombing ceases in ways both subtle and overt. This also creates a neurological bond between the two parties and the release of feel-good neurochemicals such as oxytocin. The target of idealization is showered with praise, compliments, and other behavior that communicates that they are highly regarded. The first phase is usually the public face one puts one in the beginning of a relationship or after the cycle has been completed and begins once more. The cycle of narcissistic abuse can be distilled into 3 phases: idealize, devalue, dispose.
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